


All You Want, All You'll Ever Want

by helens78



Category: due South
Genre: Fisting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-30
Updated: 2010-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:18:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraser likes Ray's hands--likes them a lot.  When Ray figures out how much, he gets determined to give Fraser everything he's looking for down to the very last inch, if that's what Fraser wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You Want, All You'll Ever Want

Somewhere along the way, Ray figures out that Fraser likes being fingered.

Likes it even more than getting fucked, even, which is unusual but pretty obvious: when Ray rolls Fraser over to fuck his ass, Fraser groans and fucks back and obviously enjoys every minute. But the groans are kind of quiet, and he's all pulled in somehow, taking it and staying kind of still.

Whereas when he's doing the prep work, Fraser gasps and spreads his legs wider and wider, like he just can't get enough. So Ray decides he's gonna start doing that with Fraser on his back, maybe see if he can work out what Fraser likes so much and apply it to his fucking technique.

But it seems like the answer to "What does Fraser like about being fingered?" is "Absolutely everything," because the minute Ray gets Fraser on his back and slides a slicked-up finger inside him, Fraser goes a little nuts. Well, nuts for Fraser, which means he gasps and sinks his hands into the sheets and whispers, "Yes, _yes_ , Ray," and so Ray keeps at it for a while, stroking in and twisting his hand and watching Fraser gasp and moan and shiver, just a little, on the bed.

He doesn't really learn much about the techniques Fraser likes, not that first time, because at that point he's kind of dying to be inside Fraser, so he draws his hand back, slides his finger out, and asks, "Can I fuck you?"

And Fraser nods with a lot of enthusiasm, so Ray decides to save more fingering for another night.

* * *

One night, Fraser's got his hand on Ray's dick, and he's stroking real nice, so nice, Fraser gives really great handjobs--but tonight it's not getting him there, not gonna get him there, and eventually Fraser says, "Would you show me?"

Ray has maybe three brain cells to rub together that aren't going _yeah yeah little faster little tighter yeah please yeah_ , but he lines them up in a row and says, "Show you what?"

Fraser takes his hand away, what, no no no, but then he says, "How you touch yourself. So I'll know."

He's blushing a little, but he's licking his lips, and Ray nods at him. "Okay." But then Ray thinks about it, and his three brain cells flash on an idea. "If you show me the same thing later."

"All right," Fraser says softly, and okay, now Ray's got a great mental image to go on while he jacks off, Fraser working himself good and tight, and when he lies down on his back and gets his hand on his dick, it's easy and natural and--well, and quick. He hopes Fraser gets a chance to see what he wanted, because it isn't more than a couple minutes before Ray groans and comes, shooting his load all over his stomach.

Fraser stretches out beside him, but not where Ray can hug him. Instead, he has his head at crotch level, and before Ray can even take his hand off his dick, Fraser's on it and licking--but not licking Ray's dick, which is enough of a surprise it actually makes Ray pay attention. Fraser's sliding his tongue over Ray's fingers, licking between them, into the corners and, as Fraser might say, nooks and crannies. He gently unwraps Ray's hand from his cock and licks his palm, too, sucks on Ray's fingers; there's not a single solitary inch of Ray's hand that goes unlicked by the time Fraser's through with him.

Fraser's breathing hard now, and he sets Ray's hand carefully back down on the bed.

"Now, Ray?"

Ray blinks at him--now what?--but then he looks at Fraser and realizes Fraser's so damn hard he's leaking. And he did make Fraser promise to--whoa, _now, Ray_. Ray nods-nods- _nods_ and pushes up on his elbows to watch.

But Fraser doesn't just start beating off or anything. Instead, he goes for the nightstand and comes back with lube. And sure, now that Ray keeps lube around all the time, Ray uses it now and then when he's jerking off, but Fraser looked like it wasn't even optional.

And when he gets started, Ray can see why.

Because Fraser does put a hand on his cock, but he does it _after_. He does it after he comes up on his knees; he does it after he slicks not one, not two, but three fingers, and he--oh, God--reaches behind himself and pushes those three fingers into his ass.

Ray actually feels the drool slip out of the corner of his mouth, and he wipes his face real quick with the side of his hand and crawls around to Fraser's side to get a better look.

Fraser has his other hand on his cock, now, but he's not stroking so much as squeezing lightly, in a slow, easy rhythm. The real action is happening with his other hand, which is pushing in hard--those three fingers jammed up Fraser's ass, and Fraser draws them almost all the way back out every time before pushing them back in. Three fingers and no warmup to get there; Ray's been going way, way too easy on him. Fraser has thick fingers, solid fingers, blunt at the tips, squared-off hands, but Ray's hands are long, his fingers almost sharp by comparison, and what's more, Ray can get a way better angle--God, if Fraser does this when he jerks off ( _every time?_ Ray thinks hazily, _every single time he finger-fucks himself like this, up on his knees?_ ), Ray can just imagine how much he'd like Ray's fingers in there, three fingers twisted together, pushing in all the way, _God_.

"Ray-- _Ray_ \--" Ray almost misses it, he's so focused on Fraser's ass, but with that tone of voice, Ray's attention goes back to Fraser's cock in a hurry, and Fraser's coming, groaning as he shoots across his fingers. Ray glances back at Fraser's ass again, and--oh, fuck, Fraser's sort of twisting his fingers in there, rocking them, face contorting with pleasure as he keeps going and going and going, until he's just fucking _got_ to be sore.

Finally, a long time later, Fraser slides his fingers out of his ass and settles down carefully on his heels. He looks flushed and woozy, and Ray grabs for a few tissues on the nightstand to help Fraser get his hands cleaned up.

"You--every time?" Ray asks.

Fraser nods. "If I can't--" He gestures ineffectively with a still-sticky hand, kind of a rolling motion, but now Ray totally gets what that motion means, yes he does-- _if I can't fingerfuck my own ass_ \-- "then I just... I'd rather wait, usually. It's so much better that way."

"Uh-huh," Ray says, already thinking about the next time.

* * *

Next time they have a chance, Ray puts Fraser on his back and slides both hands up Fraser's thighs. Fraser licks his lips and looks down at Ray, and Ray says, "We're not in a hurry or anything, right?"

"Of course not," Fraser says.

"So I can take my time with this?"

Fraser's grin is downright naughty. "If you'd like."

"Okay," Ray says, grinning, and he goes for the good lube, the really thick stuff. Fraser's licking his lips and his eyes are all huge and excited, and Ray just can't help grinning at him. If this is what gets to Fraser, _really_ gets to Fraser, then Ray wants to give it to him. Give it to him until he's sore and passed out, and just keep giving.

He starts with one finger, and Fraser sighs happily and relaxes down into the bed, letting Ray just touch him. Ray takes his time, moving in and out, nice and slow. He's easy about it, gentle, really _exploring_ rather than doing any actual fucking for once.

And what he finds out is: it's not even about the prostate thing, not for Fraser. He likes it when Ray finds that spot, sure, but that's not the goal here. Fraser's after the whole nine yards, the whole experience. He loves it when Ray pushes in deep, all the way, but he loves it just as much when Ray draws his finger all the way back and circles his fingertip around Fraser's slick hole. He squirms down hard when Ray does that, when Ray teases him like that, but he's patient enough to wait for it, wait for Ray to slide his finger back in.

He loves it when Ray twists his finger back and forth, alternating that little motion with long strokes inside, and his cock's getting real hard now, precome welling up at the tip. This is more than enough prep, this would be plenty if Ray were just going to fuck him, but this time Ray wants something else.

So when he takes his hand back this time, he adds more lube and gets his middle finger slick, too, and then he guides both fingers into Fraser's ass, making it a little rougher now. It's not as rough as Fraser was with himself, and Ray can still picture Fraser pushing three fingers deep inside himself, just a little lube to ease the way, but still... no hurry, no rush. Ray can take all day with this if he wants, and he doubts Fraser's gonna stop him.

Fraser groans and spreads his legs even wider, and Ray grins at him. "Wanted more, huh?"

"Ye-- _esssss_ ," Fraser pants. "More, yes, _please_ , more, more..."

Ray's in his usual rhythm before he even realizes he's doing it--just a steady rocking in-and-out motion, rubbing at Fraser's prostate on the way in, scissoring his fingers a little on the way back out. And that is good, that is clearly great for Fraser, but Fraser's really working his hips now, fucking down hard against Ray's hand, and that's the kind of thing that could get Fraser off pretty damn quick if Ray wanted to let him.

He doesn't, though. He doesn't want to let Fraser get off that easy. So he slows it down, twisting his fingers back and forth as he draws them back slow, really slow, slow enough Fraser starts to moan again. The guy moans loud, too; Ray doesn't know if he's ever heard Fraser like this.

"Good?" Ray whispers. He drops his head and leaves a brief kiss against Fraser's inner thigh.

"Oh--Ray, _yes_ ," Fraser moans. "More, please, don't slow down--"

"Uh-uh." Ray draws his fingers all the way out, and Fraser whimpers softly. "We're gonna take this as slow as I want. Okay?"

"Ray, please, please--" Fraser actually slides down the bed a little, looking for Ray's fingers. "In me, please, inside me, I need you--"

Ray rests his fingertips gently against Fraser's hole. "Kinda sounds like you're asking me to fuck you," he murmurs. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," Fraser whispers.

"You want me to stop touching you and fuck you instead?"

At that, Fraser kinda clams up, and Ray glances up at his face. He's biting his lower lip, and Ray grins at him.

"Didn't think so," Ray says. He pushes his fingers right back into Fraser's ass, and Fraser throws his head back and groans.

Ray slips his fingers out again, but this time he's noisy with the lube, snapping the cap off so Fraser can hear it, and when he drizzles the lube over three fingers, he makes sure to get a lot of extra. He's about to give Fraser more than he ever has before--well, more of his hand, anyway--and he doesn't want it to hurt, he just wants to stretch him, open him up a little more.

When he pushes three fingers into Fraser, he's watching Fraser's face to see how Fraser's taking it--so to speak. Fraser gasps out loud, head thrown back, neck arched, and Ray groans out loud himself, slowly sliding his fingers in and out, just a couple inches, maybe, enough to make Fraser gasp and groan and throw his head from side to side. Ray grins and dials it up a little, shoving in harder every time.

"Ray, Ray, Ray, _God_ ," Fraser gasps, clutching at the sheets, rocking his hips--he's never like this when Ray fucks him, so openly, nakedly desperate, and oh, God, Ray wants to see what he'll do when he comes. He pushes his fingers in as far as he can, until the top of his hand stops him from going any further, and Fraser presses down in response, breathing hard, chest heaving. "Please-- _please_ \--"

"Yeah, c'mon, go go go--" Ray twists his hand, and Fraser arches and heaves in a breath and comes, just coming and coming and coming, moaning until his voice breaks, come getting everywhere--some of it ends up in Ray's hair. Ray grins up the bed at him, holding still as Fraser catches his breath. Inside, Fraser's still clenching at him--the orgasm was so good he's still having aftershocks. Ray kind of feels like doing a victory dance all over the room; God, he loves making Fraser look like this.

When the aftershocks die down and Fraser starts squirming in the not-so-good way, making faces like this hurts, Ray carefully eases his fingers out of Fraser's body and sits back on his heels. He just can't stop grinning. "That looked fun."

" _Yes_ ," Fraser pants. He reaches out for Ray, but his arms are limp like spaghetti and end up flopping back down on the bed. "Can I--surely you need--"

He does--oh, boy, does he need, after all that--but he shakes his head and climbs up next to Fraser, stretches out at Fraser's side. "Blowjob. Later."

"Okay," Fraser agrees, and he plants his face in Ray's armpit and falls almost instantly asleep.

* * *

He gets the blowjob, and it's great, but the main thing on his mind is when he can next get his hands on Fraser--or _in_ Fraser. Touching Fraser goes from being a necessary part of foreplay to being something Ray does on its own merits, and he does it a _lot_. They buy new lube, thick solid white stuff called Elbow Grease that Fraser says he's _researched_. They keep towels in the nightstands so Ray can use as much lube as he wants and still get clean enough to hang onto Fraser when it all gets to be too much of a turnon and Ray's gotta fuck Fraser or he'll just die.

Every single time, Fraser goes wild. It gets to a point where he starts opening Fraser up with three fingers, no other warmup or stretching--the way Fraser did when he showed Ray how he likes to touch himself--and he fucks Fraser with those three fingers until Fraser's so desperate he's reaching down for Ray, grabbing at his shoulders or his hair, whatever he can reach. At first Ray thinks Fraser's trying to pull his head down so he can suck Fraser's cock while he slides those three fingers in and out of him, but no: Fraser's just so knocked over by this he needs something to hang onto.

Somewhere along the line, Ray starts looking at his hand while he fucks Fraser, thinking about how he's only got one finger that's not in Fraser's body, how maybe four fingers wouldn't be so tough given the way Fraser takes three. He wonders what Fraser would do if Ray slicked up all four fingers and pushed them in--would he love it? Would it be everything he wanted? Would it make him as insane as three fingers does, only more? Or would it be pushing too hard, taking too much?

Fraser decides it for him one night when he just can't stop gasping " _More_ , Ray, _more_ , oh _God_ , more." Ray's already got all three fingers in him as deep as they can go, so when Fraser says "more" like that, Ray looks up at him and stares. Fraser's got his hands up on the headboard, legs spread, knees up, and Ray feels that plea for more shoot straight past his brain to his cock.

"Okay," Ray pants, "okay, okay, _more_ ," and he uses his free hand to scoop up a little more lube and smooth it onto his hand, onto his little finger, on Fraser where Ray's fingers are disappearing into his body. He draws his hand back, and then he twists all four fingers up and pushes them in, and oh God, he'd never thought about how that would look, all four of his fingers sliding into Fraser's ass, but it's intense enough he has to grit his teeth together and remind himself to go slow, Jesus, this is almost his whole hand moving into Fraser.

Fraser hasn't said anything, which gets some of the lust-fog to leave Ray's brain for a minute. "Fraser? You okay?"

When Fraser answers, his voice sounds like it's coming from really far away, but it's a good sound--a really, really good sound. "Oh, _Ray_ ," he breathes. "Yes, Ray, I'm _fine_. I'm--please... please, just..." He twists his hips back and forth. "Oh, God, just _anything_..."

Ray sucks in a breath between his teeth and nods, and he starts rocking his hand forward--not much, barely at all, because holy shit, Fraser's got so much of his hand, but even that little fraction of an inch is enough to make Fraser gasp and arch and clutch hard at the headboard. " _Ray_!"

"I'm right here," Ray whispers. "I'm right here, Benton-buddy, I'm here, I'm--" He draws his hand out slightly, and Fraser outright whimpers, immediately shoving down to get Ray's hand back inside him. "Hey, easy, _easy_ , we're gonna do this, we're gonna _do_ this, come on..."

"Oh God _yes_ ," Fraser pants. "Yes, please, yes, God, I've wanted this for so long, Ray..."

Ray's eyes get big, and he wonders what the hell he just accidentally promised Fraser. It's not like he doesn't want to follow through on it, not like he wouldn't give Fraser anything he wanted, but what the hell does Fraser want?

Fraser's got his mouth open and his eyes closed, and he moans every time Ray rocks his hand into him. Ray's getting deeper and deeper now, up to the knuckles easy, and he wants--God, he really, really wants to take it further. He wants to keep pushing--he's not real sure what happens if he keeps pushing, but he knows it's gotta be great--but he doesn't want to spring that on Fraser unexpectedly. He settles, instead, for twisting his hand back and forth, slowly, watching Fraser jerk and hiss and pant as he does it.

"Oh, God--oh, _God_ , Ray, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, ready, ready," Fraser pants, and at the end of it he's just babbling-- _ready ready ready_ , over and over again. And Ray wonders, for _what_ , as Fraser's muscles sort of-- _clench_ at him. Like they're trying to draw him in. Like he wants everything, the wide part of Ray's hand, the--oh, God, Ray can do it, Fraser's open enough, slick enough, stretched enough, and he pushes his hand forward until Fraser's got the wide part, and then his thumb stops him from going any further.

Fraser gasps one more time, and then he's coming, his cock jerking wildly as he just paints himself with white streak after white streak. His knuckles are pale by the time he's finished, but he doesn't let go of the headboard; Ray's not even sure he remembers he's holding on to it.

"Easy," Ray whispers, "easy, I got you, I'm coming," and he carefully, carefully pulls his hand back, wide part coming free first and then his fingers sliding back fast as Fraser's body sort of pushes them out. Fraser's still gasping for air, and Ray comes up on top of him, holding his lube-covered hand away from Fraser and gently prying his hands off the headboard with his clean hand. Fraser wraps both arms around Ray's back and pulls him down, hugging him as hard as he can, and that brings Ray tumbling down onto Fraser, which means Ray's cock slides down against Fraser's thigh and oh _fuck_ , that's a lot of lube there, that's a _lot_ of lube, one good shift and he'd be balls-deep in Fraser's ass. Ray thinks he might have just whimpered.

"I meant to wait," Fraser whispers, kissing the side of Ray's head. "I'm sorry, God, I meant to wait--"

"Don't--" Ray has to clear his throat, he's so hoarse. "Don't be. Sorry. Don't be sorry." He shifts his hips, can't _not_ , and his cock slides up against Fraser's ass, rubbing against his crack.

Fraser groans and lets his legs fall open. "I can't really move," he whispers, "but you can fuck me, if you want..."

Ray grabs Fraser by the hair--both his hands are messy with lube, but his left hand's a little _less_ messy--and pins Fraser's head down on the pillow. He bites hard at the side of Fraser's neck, and starts thrusting, starts trying to find his way in, _look Ma no hands_. It takes a few tries, and even when he finds the right place, it takes a few more tries to get the right angle.

But then he does, and he's sliding in, in, in, and he bites at and mouths at and sucks on Fraser's neck, slamming into him, feeling Fraser all slick and stretched and _open_ , so slippery, so goddamned hot--it's only a couple minutes before Ray's blunting his cries against Fraser's neck, driving in hard-hard- _harder_ , coming deep inside him and gasping with the sweet dizzying rush of it.

He lies there on top of Fraser for a while, panting, and Fraser holds him as tightly as he can, which for Fraser is really saying something. Ray isn't sure his lungs are gonna hold out through that indefinitely, but he's sure as hell willing to try.

* * *

He comes to with Fraser sort of rolling him onto his side--God, he fell asleep on Fraser, he fell asleep _in_ Fraser. He groans when his cock slips free of Fraser's body, and Fraser groans, too, then falls back down on his back, stretching.

"Sorry," Ray mumbles. He lifts his hand gingerly and makes a face at it; the lube's dried out enough to be sticky, kind of tacky. It's pretty gross, but he doesn't want to get up, he really, really doesn't. "Didn't mean to pass out on you."

"What? No," Fraser says, and then he yawns, a full-body yawn that makes his toes curl. Ray grins at him. "No, _I_ should be sorry. I just--I couldn't wait."

"For what?"

Fraser looks up at Ray and then glances away, his eyelashes dark against his cheeks. "Your--you know."

"Pretend I don't and just tell me anyway."

"Your--hand," Fraser says. He sounds a little breathless when he does, and Ray can't blame him, because now that it's out there, now he _knows_ \--it's no accident. Fraser knew exactly what he was asking for. Ray feels a little breathless, too.

"You want my whole hand inside you?" Ray murmurs.

Fraser shivers and reaches out, catching Ray's wrist, but his eyes fly open when he rubs his thumb against the lower swell of Ray's palm. "Oh, dear."

"Yeah, I know, but I'd have to get _up_ \--"

"Ordinarily I'd offer to get a warm washcloth for you, but--"

"Okay, okay, I'll just--" Ray pushes himself upright and stumbles off to the bathroom. It's a while before his hand's finally clean and un-sticky, and then he figures he might as well get some of the mess off his cock, too, and by the time he comes back to bed, he's shivering a little from the cold. He curls right up with Fraser, tangles his legs into Fraser's, and rests his head against Fraser's shoulder. Fraser reaches down, takes Ray's hand, and pulls it up to his mouth, where he presses gentle kisses against Ray's fingers.

"I never--I mean, I haven't--" Ray curls his hand carefully into a fist, and Fraser groans softly and nuzzles his hand. "I mean, what we just did--it's as far as I've ever gone." He pauses. "You--you let somebody...?"

"Well--yes," Fraser says quietly. "It's... it's a very intense feeling, and I always _want_..." He looks away from Ray, which makes Ray's chest tighten up a little; Fraser can't even look at him while he talks about it? "But I haven't done it very often," he says, "and... I want to. With you. I want to."

Ray's trying hard not to think about who else might have done this to Fraser. He doesn't know of a lot of people who were definitely part of Fraser's sexual history; there was Victoria, and Ray knows he's not the first guy Fraser's ever been with, but the idea of Victoria doing it to him, of some random casual-affair guy having Fraser laid out all open and vulnerable like that...

He squeezes Fraser tight and rubs his cheek against Fraser's shoulder. "I want to," he murmurs. "I want to do it with you."

"God, Ray, you don't know," Fraser whispers back. "You can't even imagine how long I've been looking at your hands and thinking about..."

Ray groans softly. "You're gonna make _me_ think about it whenever I look at my hands now."

"Only fair," Fraser murmurs, and he kisses Ray's hand one more time before going quiet. Ray finds he doesn't have a lot to say that can follow Fraser's last statement, so he doesn't try; he just curls up with Fraser and lets Fraser rest his cheek on Ray's hand.

* * *

So now it's a given that they're going to get to it, to the whole deal, the whole thing, Ray's whole hand inside Fraser, and Ray starts wondering if they need something special for it. Special sheets, maybe. A holiday, some kind of special occasion. He pays a lot more attention to his fingernails than he used to; one day at work, he swipes an emery board out of Frannie's desk and starts filing his nails with it.

When Dewey catches him at it, he says, "You need some nail polish, Kowalski? Because I bet pink would look nice and girly on you."

Ray just grins at him and files his middle fingernail in Dewey's general direction; getting shit from Dewey is nothing, and the look on Fraser's face when he walks into the 27th and sees Ray filing his nails is worth any amount of shit from anybody. Fraser's jaw actually drops, and when he sits down, he puts his hat on his lap.

"You okay there?" Ray asks. He glances over at Fraser, Fraser's openmouthed expression, and Fraser's hat. "That Stetson big enough for you, buddy?" he murmurs.

"I'm not sure it is, today," Fraser murmurs back. "Would you--I don't suppose you could do that _later_. While we're not trying to _work_."

Ray grins and tosses the nail file into his drawer. "I got a thing with two guys and a duck," he says. "I figure we need to check out the duck pond first." He leans back in his chair. "When you're ready."

"I'll need a moment," Fraser says, but just then Dewey stands up at his desk and does some kind of horrible victory dance, yawping out something about how that car insurance salesman he's been trying to bust is going down, and Fraser glances back at Ray. "Or now. Now would be fine."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Ray agrees, and they stand up and head for the pond.

* * *

A few days later, when they're out getting more deodorant for Ray and more toothpaste for Fraser, Ray takes a detour in the discount store and ends up looking at the sheets. Fraser blinks at him for a second, but looks gamely at the selection with him.

"Flannel's always nice," Fraser says, eyeing the red plaid sheet set.

"This is my total lack of surprise that you would say something like that," Ray says. "I got working central heat in my apartment, Frase--we don't _need_ flannel sheets."

"In point of fact, I don't think we need new sheets at all."

"No, but I thought it might be good for--" Fraser looks at him, one eyebrow raised. Ray lowers his voice. "I just think we could end up kinda making a mess, when we--"

" _Oh._ " Fraser blinks, and very, very slowly licks his lips. "Oh. Well."

"You got any thoughts on the matter?"

Fraser's quiet for a few seconds, and then he says, "Only that I wish we weren't having this conversation in _public_ , Ray," and sure enough, he's going a little pink around the ears, and his jeans are looking tight enough to get him arrested. Except Ray's not about to bust Fraser for indecently tight jeans, especially since that's really his fault in the first place. "And you might smirk a _bit_ less."

"We can get the flannel ones if you want," Ray says, and Fraser gratefully picks out a set of red flannel sheets and holds it strategically in front of him as they head for the cash register.

* * *

In the end, though, they don't use the flannel. They put Ray's oldest set of sheets on the bed, the ones that are nearly worn through and are nowhere near the color they used to be--parts of them are blue, parts of them are white. Fraser's precise military-style bed-making seems a little over-the-top, considering these sheets are being put on the bed for the sole purpose of getting wrinkled and messy, but Ray just stands back and lets him do it; he'll have Fraser where he wants him soon enough.

"Is this all right?" Fraser asks softly, looking down at the bed.

"It's great by me. How does--how do I look?" Ray brings his right hand up, lets Fraser inspect it. Fraser swallows hard and turns Ray's hand over in his, rubs the pad of his thumb over Ray's fingernails.

"You look--ready," Fraser says hoarsely.

"I am. I am so, so ready to do this, Fraser--" Ray takes a deep breath. "If _you're_ ready."

"I. Yes," Fraser says, and he looks at the bed again. "Now?"

"Unless you _want_ to wait until next week--"

He's not even done saying it before Fraser starts pulling his clothes off, which makes Ray grin. "Gonna take that as a no," he says, and he starts taking his clothes off, too.

Once they're both naked, Fraser climbs into bed and gets into position, and damn, that's familiar by now: Fraser's knees pointed up at the ceiling, legs spread wide, his cock resting on his belly and already leaking. Most nights, Ray would just climb up between Fraser's legs and slick up three fingers and _go_ , opening Fraser up and fucking him good and solid with his fingers--but tonight Fraser's breathing is all unsteady, and his hands are already clenching in the sheets, and Ray crawls between Fraser's legs and puts a hand on Fraser's knee.

"Easy there," Ray murmurs. "We're gonna take this as slow as we need to."

Fraser pushes himself on his elbows and shoots Ray a look. "After all the time I've waited for this--"

Ray reaches down between Fraser's legs and just gently rubs his fingertips against Fraser's hole, and Fraser clenches hard. Ray lifts an eyebrow; Fraser sighs and falls back on the bed.

"It isn't that I don't _want_ to--it's the anticipation that's making me--"

"Yeah, buddy, I know," Ray murmurs. He kisses Fraser's knee and climbs back off the bed, going to the nightstand for lube and a towel. They've got a whole new tub of Elbow Grease for this, and as soon as Ray gets back to Fraser, he spreads some of the thick lube over his first finger.

He puts his other hand on Fraser's thigh and squeezes lightly. "Okay?"

"Before I die of waiting, please," Fraser says, and Ray laughs and slides that first finger in.

Fraser does clench at him, squeezing his finger hard, but almost as soon as Ray's got it all the way in, Fraser gasps and squirms down against his finger and he's already starting to relax and open up. "More," Fraser groans. "Please--"

"Okay," Ray murmurs; he doesn't mind being rushed into two fingers, into three, and the way Fraser's pressing down against Ray's fingers and saying _more, more, more_ , Ray knows it's going to be a quick ramp up to three. He still starts with two, guiding them into Fraser's ass and making sure to spread as much lube as he can inside Fraser; there's no way they can have too much, not today.

He comes back for more lube and gives Fraser three fingers, and Fraser reaches back above him again, holding onto the headboard. Ray drives his fingers hard into Fraser's ass, and Fraser arches and groans and his hands tighten up. Ray gives him a slow, rocking thrust in, and Fraser moans again. "Hey," Ray murmurs. "Benton. _Ben._ " Fraser blinks his eyes open and looks down at him. "Get those hands off the headboard; you're gonna tighten up everywhere if you keep holding on that hard."

"I--all right, yes," Fraser moans, uncurling his hands from the headboard and settling them down at his sides again. "Yes, just--don't stop, don't stop now--"

"I won't," Ray promises. "I'm not gonna stop. I just want it to be good for you. And if your shoulder kinks up on us while we're doing this--"

"--yes, _yes_ , point made, yes, God, shut up and--" Fraser licks his lips and tries grinding down against Ray's hand. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "Please, Ray. Please. _Please_."

Ray nods and draws his hand back, going for more lube; this time he doesn't just get his fingers, he spreads lube over his palm, the back of his hand, even his thumb. He gets it all the way up to his wrist, and then he tries to get his other hand wiped clean--which only does so much good, really, but it's enough that he can get a grip on Fraser's thigh and hold on while he does this.

He twists his fingers together, all four of them, and presses them into Fraser's ass, and Fraser arches again, this time making fists in the sheets. Ray doesn't call him on it; he's too busy working his fingers in deeper and deeper, feeling the unbelievable tight pressure of Fraser's body as it resists being opened that much. "Ben-- _God_ ," Ray pants; he's watching his fingers moving into Fraser and knowing full well where this is going, and he wonders if he could come just from watching this, just from feeling Fraser's amazing heat around his hand.

"Please, please, _please_ , don't stop, don't stop," Fraser pants. He bites his lower lip and closes his eyes and throws his head back; he's strangling all his sounds now, moaning and grunting and rocking into Ray's slow, insistent thrusts. Ray's got his fingers in Fraser up to the knuckles again, almost as far as he's ever gone, and he licks his lips, groaning a little bit himself by now.

"Okay," Ray whispers, "okay, gonna give you a little more lube and then I'm gonna push in past the knuckles, all right?"

Fraser makes a muffled, pained-sounding groan, and nods with enthusiasm. Ray looks at him carefully, but no, it doesn't look like Fraser's hurting--it just looks like he's _desperate_. Ray draws his hand back--still easy, Fraser's body's still trying to push him _out_ instead of drawing him _in_ right now--and adds another thick coat of lube. It's too late to try to make this neater; he gives up on keeping his other hand clean and just focuses on making sure there's enough lube, enough to do this. He's pretty sure he could use the whole tub just on one night and they'd both think it was a good plan--and they'd probably order a whole goddamned case of lube, later on.

He's got enough, now, he thinks this is enough, and he pushes his fingers back into Fraser. Fraser hisses and keens and spreads his legs wider, and Ray grins and stops once he's in Fraser to the top of his hand. He curls his thumb into his palm, tucks it in neatly, and he rocks forward, just a little, just enough to let Fraser feel the pressure.

"Ray, _Ray_ \--"

"Right here. Little more," Ray murmurs, and he pushes, and Fraser's body stays tight, tight, tight, for a few seconds, and then Ray's wiggling past that resistance, getting maybe a half-inch of the widest part of his hand into Fraser's body. Fraser squirms hard and tries pressing down, but his body's not giving in just yet--not yet, but he _will_ , Ray knows it, Ray can feel how much Fraser wants this.

"Easy," Ray whispers. "Easy, _easy_ \--not going anywhere now. Won't go anywhere till you've got it all."

"God, I need--" Fraser gasps hard, and he uncurls one of his hands, sliding it over his thigh, trying to reach down, between his legs, to where Ray's hand is halfway into him. "I just--I want to _feel_ \--"

Ray guides Fraser's hand down a little further, helps Fraser come up on his other elbow so he can reach down as far as he wants. He puts Fraser's fingers against the place where Fraser's body is taking Ray's hand in, and Fraser gasps out a long, shuddering breath.

"You're gonna have me," Ray promises, bending his head down and kissing Fraser's knee. "You're gonna have all of me you want. Just lie back down. Lie down."

Fraser nods and slips onto his back again, and he stretches his arms above his head. This time, Ray doesn't tell him to ease up; this time, Fraser's going to need something to hold onto.

"Here we go," Ray murmurs, and he starts rocking his hand in. Fraser gasps, picking up the rhythm and pressing down against Ray's hand, and something changes--Ray's not having to press as hard anymore, he's not really pushing in so much as being _drawn_ in, and he takes a deep breath and watches, wide-eyed, as the resistance finally lifts and _oh, God_ , Fraser's opening up, Fraser's letting him in, Fraser gasps and pants and shakes a little and his body opens for Ray, and Ray's hand slips inside him, his _whole fucking hand_ , curling up into a fist as Fraser takes him deep.

"Oh-- _God_ , Ray, _God_ ," Fraser pants, swallowing hard, arms shaking. "Oh, God..."

Ray knows exactly how he feels. He's breathing just as hard as Fraser is, now; his heart's racing the same way Fraser's is, and he can _feel_ Fraser's heartbeat, he can feel it from _inside_. "Fraser," he moans, voice hoarse and breaking, and he brings his other hand up and rests it lightly on Fraser's hip. "Fraser--just... tell me when you want me to move."

"Christ yes God _please_ , Ray," Fraser babbles out, not wasting a second, " _please_ move, _please_ \--"

Ray does; he rocks his fist in just a little, just a tiny bit, so little he almost thinks he's just _thinking_ about moving his fist instead of actually doing it. But Fraser flails and arches and growls, and then he lets out a harsh, choking sob, and Ray doesn't know how hearing sobs break out of Fraser's chest can be such a fucking turn-on, but he needs to hear _more_.

He moves his fist again, and he gets more of that sound, another sob, another broken set of panting breaths. He tightens his grip on Fraser's hip, pinning him down.

"More?" Ray asks. Fraser's gone completely non-verbal now, but he nods, eyes still shut tight, and Ray gives him what he's asking for--he sinks his hand in deeper, a little faster, and he twists his fist a few degrees from side to side. Fraser gasps and comes up on his elbows, and those sobs--they're breaking him open, _Ray's_ breaking him open, and Fraser's panting and gasping for breath and his eyes are dry, still, but he's sobbing all the same.

It's beautiful. God, it's so beautiful--Fraser's giving him _everything_ , opening up completely, letting Ray see how badly he needs this, how badly he _wants_ it, and Ray thought he'd seen it all, thought he'd seen Fraser open and bare and desperate a dozen times, a hundred, but this--this is _more_ , so much more than Fraser's ever given him before.

"Want you," Ray gasps, " _love_ you, God, so fuckin' gorgeous, Ben, love you so goddamned much--"

"-- _yes_ ," Fraser bursts out, "yes yes _yes_ \--" And then he's there, coming, _screaming_ , neck arched back, clenching so tightly around Ray's wrist that Ray actually gasps out loud from it. His belly's covered in streaks, painted with his lust and need and satisfaction, and yet it's not _over_ \--Ray can feel how much it's not over, with Fraser clenching at him and squeezing and just lying there moaning and coming and needing, just _needing_.

There's more here, there's gotta be more, so Ray doesn't stop moving; he doesn't even give Fraser a breather. He keeps twisting his hand back and forth, and Fraser's eyes open wide, and he babbles out " _yes no oh Christ don't stop don't ever_ \--" and then he's coming again. If Ray's hand weren't buried in him, he'd think this second time around was less than the first, because Fraser can't come as _much_ \--there's just a little bit of spunk this time, enough to coat the head of his cock but not much else--but oh, God, inside Fraser's coming apart at the seams. He's tightening up and squeezing Ray's hand again and again and again, waves and waves of it, and Ray wonders if he'll ever _stop_ , if Fraser might just be able to come like this until morning.

And so he keeps going, going and going and going, watching as Fraser shakes and gasps and sobs, as the sobs break through and send tears streaming down his face. There's another hard squeeze, and Fraser screams again, and this time when he comes down from it, he's wincing a little.

Ray stops moving and tries to swallow, tries to catch his breath. Fraser's doing much the same, but he's shaking, too, and Ray wants to be able to touch him, wants to hold him, but he holds still, right where he is.

"Ben?" he whispers. Fraser whimpers; he tightens up around Ray's hand again, but this time his gasp is more pain than pleasure. "Okay," Ray whispers, "okay, I'm gonna come out, now, just take a deep breath for me, take a deep breath so I can come out--"

Fraser nods, and although it takes him a few tries, eventually he draws in a long, shuddering breath. Ray gently--gently as he can, considering--eases his hand back, keeping the pressure even despite Fraser's body not wanting to let his hand go, and with a few more deep breaths and a few more careful motions, Ray's got the widest part of his hand free again, and then the rest is easy, hand slipping out, Fraser's ass still stretched and open after all that.

Ray grabs up the hand towel and wipes off as much lube as he can, and then he's tackling Fraser, curling him up into a hug. Fraser holds on hard, squeezing the breath out of Ray, but Ray doesn't figure he needs to breathe right now anyway.

"Did you--"

"Not yet, I don't _care_ , Fraser--"

"On me, please, on me, here--" Fraser squirms beneath him, and Ray's cock goes sliding through the come on Fraser's belly and Ray groans, groans like he's dying, and nods against Fraser's shoulder. It doesn't take long--it takes an almost embarrassingly short amount of time, holding Fraser, feeling Fraser holding him and shaking lightly all over, feeling the slick rush of Fraser's come against his cock, and then-- _yeah, fuck, oh God_ , he's coming, too, hot and desperate between the two of them.

Fraser doesn't roll Ray away from him once he's done, even though they're probably gonna stick together. He just keeps that shaking grip on Ray and nuzzles against the side of Ray's neck.

" _Love_ you," Fraser pants. "Jesus Christ, Ray, I love you _so much_."

Ray can't help grinning. "I know," he murmurs.

Fraser's pressing soft, hurried kisses against Ray's neck now, his shoulder, his cheek, anywhere he can reach. "Don't go," Fraser whispers. "Please don't--just don't go, just, please..."

Ray tightens his hold on Fraser and nods. "Not going anywhere, buddy," he murmurs. "Staying right here."

Fraser manages to nod, too. "The ones, before--they always went," he whispers, so faint Ray almost can't make it out. "And I wanted, I _needed_ \--but I couldn't _ask_ , it wasn't _fair_ , they weren't--"

"Hey," Ray murmurs, twisting in Fraser's arms so Fraser can see his face. "I will _never_ leave if you don't want me going. Not now. Not _ever_. You hold onto me as long as you want."

"I know," Fraser whispers, and it seems to calm him down some. He reaches up and strokes his hand down Ray's face. "Thank you."

Ray sinks down into Fraser's arms again, and he makes good on his promise to let Fraser hold him as long as he wants. They're in no hurry.

 _-end-_


End file.
